How to be a supporting role in the lives of those who live with mental health issues
--By Shauna Slater
“Helping people become more aware of mental illness will help their understanding to grow. Only then will the general public realize people with mental illness are just everyday people. After all, one fourth of the general public already knows that since they have a mental illness! “ - Sarah Hancock – writer for the Nauvoo Times
Although there are no accounts of him ever living with a mental illness even the prophet Joseph Smith experienced what this stigma of mental illness is like…
“…and being of very tender years, and persecuted by those who ought to have been my friends and to have treated me kindly, and if they supposed me to be deluded to have endeavored in a proper and affectionate manner to have reclaimed me—I was left…” - JSH 1: 28
I was once sitting in a class for the training and information that I would need to be a successful foster parent. There was a lot of valuable information taught by the instructor about how to help these children deal with the changes of living in a foster home. Although I could write a whole chapter on the different valuable information I learned in that class, I would like to share one of the most important things I learned that can be applied to everything in life when it comes to understanding each other and each other’s behaviors.
Often times children placed in foster care have behaviors that may be difficult to deal with if you do not understand where the behavior is coming from. The instructor taught this very important lesson; if the child displays a behavior that is less than desirable, for example, lying, stealing, breaking things, before you get upset and react, ask yourself, “Why is this child displaying this behavior?” Getting to know the why of an action can help you understand the action and how to better help the child through the behavior and how to help them improve.
For example, a child may lie constantly even though you have reviewed with them many times the importance of always telling the truth. Why do they keep lying? After further relationship trust building, you learn that their living conditions were such that if they told the truth about something they did wrong, they would receive a sever abusive punishment. They have learned to lie to protect themselves from harm.
Now that you understand the why behind their behavior, how does that change the way you will react to their constant lying?
This is an important lesson to learn about people in any walk of life; Any behavior, good or bad. Why do they do it? Build trust, find out, understand and live life better with those around you.
Educating yourself about a situation, topic or condition can be an invaluable tool in helping you become more sensitive and compassionate towards others who may be struggling with various trials and challenges in their lives. Then you would understand the why behind their behavior and this can help you recognize that this friend is not trying to be offensive.
If you had a friend who constantly declined your offers for your homemade cookies, you may eventually become offended and put off by this person’s actions towards your gifts, unless, you knew this person had diabetes. Then you would understand the why behind their actions.
This same practice is great for anything, including understanding issues with mental health.
Who are the individuals with Mental Health issues?
How do you know if someone has a mental illness? What do they look like? Do they dress funny? Do they smell funny?
Do they look a certain way? Do they talk a certain way? Do they act a certain way? How can you tell?
Are they dangerous? Do you need to keep your children away? Should they all be locked up in an institution somewhere?
Some of these questions may seem a bit silly and odd, but believe it or not, some people still hold to these myths and stigmas of persons living with mental illnesses.
The fact of the matter is people with mental illnesses look just like any other person. They could be your neighbor, they could be a teacher, they could be your friend, they could even be a family member. But how would you know? Most of the time you wouldn’t know unless they told you. Most people living with a mental illness just want to live normal lives and be a positive contributing member of society.
In fact, statistics show that persons living with a mental illness are no more likely to be dangerous or violent than any other person.
So why do some people still believe these myths about those living with a mental illness?
Leaving the Comfort Zone
Mental health can sometimes be an uncomfortable issue to talk about. It is one of those things that our society likes to keep secret from each other, regardless of the fact that so many of us live with it on one level or another. The sad thing is, stories, movies and other media have long since popularized the myth that people who have brain chemistry issues are unfit for society. Nothing can be further from the truth, but considering the stigma around the condition, you can understand why people do not often openly admit to living with one.
It’s Time to Talk!
In order to prevent the lingering and growing of stigma from that some have towards those who live with a mental health condition, we need to break the silence. We need to talk about it and educate ourselves and each other about the truths of mental health and no longer perpetuate the fear and shame of it.
I have heard many stories (and have had a few of my own) of people with mental health concerns being treated unkindly by others who did not understand or know the truth about mental health. I cannot help but wonder how those people would have treated those with mental illness (and me) if they had had the proper knowledge and understanding about what mental illness is and what mental illness is not. If they had had received the proper education and training, perhaps our experiences with these people would have been more positive.
How can I help?
There are many who want to know the truth and be a friend and help their friends who live with a mental illness, but they are not quite sure what to do, what to say or how to help. So how can one help? How can one learn to be a support person? How can one learn how to talk about mental illness without fear or shame?
Here are some steps that can help you learn how to be able to be a support person and an advocate of those living with the trials of mental health conditions. These can help you on your way to be able to support those you love, or even understand yourself better if you are one of us who live with a mental illness.
Get Educated!
Learn proper terms; understand symptoms, basic knowledge of treatment, side effects from medications.
It is typical that people fear what they do not understand. Knowledge is power and power helps in our capacity to love the way the Savior does. Getting to know the terms, getting to know the symptoms, understanding the treatments and the side effects of medicines can help you help those you love who live with these challenges without fear and shame.
“One of the best ways you can help someone with mental illness is by understanding what it is — and what it isn't. After all, myths about mental illnesses contribute to stigma, which in turn prevents those who are living with one from seeking help.
The fact is, a mental illness is a disorder of the brain — your body's most important organ — and 1 in 6 adults lives with a brain-related illness including depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD and schizophrenia.
Like most diseases of the body, mental illness has many causes — from genetics to other biological, environmental and social/cultural factors. And just as with most diseases, mental illnesses are no one's fault. The unusual behaviors associated with some illnesses are symptoms of the disease — not the cause (and not the person!).
But most importantly, mental illnesses are treatable through medication and psychosocial therapies — allowing those who live with them the opportunity to lead full and productive lives.” --- www.bringchange2mind.com
There are many forms of mental illness, but some of the main familiar ones include:
(For the full National Alliance on Mental Illness -or NAMI- Fact sheet for each please see links provided www.NAMI.org )
Depression
Major depression is also known as clinical depression, major depressive illness, major affective disorder and unipolar mood disorder. It involves some combination of the following symptoms: depressed mood (sadness), poor concentration, insomnia, fatigue, appetite disturbances, excessive guilt, loss of interest in activities normally enjoyed, and thoughts of suicide.
Left untreated, depression can lead to serious impairment in daily functioning and even suicide, which is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. Researchers believe that more than one-half of people who die by suicide are experiencing depression. Devastating as this disease may be, it is treatable in most people. The availability of effective treatments and a better understanding of the biological basis for depression may lessen the barriers that can prevent early detection, accurate diagnosis and the decision to seek medical treatment.
What are anxiety disorders?
Anxiety disorders are a group of mental illnesses that cause people to feel excessively frightened, distressed, or uneasy during situations in which most other people would not experience these same feelings.
When they are not treated, anxiety disorders can be severely impairing and can negatively affect a person’s personal relationships or ability to work or study. In the most severe cases, anxiety disorders can make even regular and daily activities such as shopping, cooking or going outside incredibly difficult. Anxiety disorders can further cause low self-esteem, lead to substance abuse, and isolation from one’s friends and family.
Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illnesses in America: they affect around 20 percent of the population at any given time. Fortunately there are many good treatments for anxiety disorders. Unfortunately, some people do not seek treatment for their illness because they do not realize how severe their symptoms are or are too ashamed to seek help. Furthermore, these disorders are often difficult to recognize for friends, family and even some doctors.
What are the most common anxiety disorders?
Panic Disorder—Characterized by “panic attacks,” panic disorder results in sudden feelings of terror that can strike repeatedly and sometimes without warning. Physical symptoms of a panic attack include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, feelings that you can’t catch your breath, hyperventilation, dizziness, upset stomach, vomiting, sudden need to go to the bathroom, tingling arms, tingling face, feelings of being disconnected, feelings of losing your mind, chills, sweats, shakes, feeling like your brain is shutting down, tunnel vision from reality and fear of dying.
Some people with this disorder may experience unrealistic worry of having more panic attacks and become very ashamed and self-consciousness. This can result in some people feeling too afraid to go to certain places (e.g., airplanes, elevator) which can be very intrusive in their daily lives.
Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD)—OCD is characterized by repetitive, intrusive, irrational and unwanted thoughts (obsessions) and/or rituals that seem impossible to control (compulsions). Some people with OCD have specific compulsions (e.g., counting, arranging, cleaning) that they “must perform” multiple times each day in order to momentarily release their anxiety that something bad might happen to themselves or to someone they love. People with OCD may be aware that their symptoms don’t make sense and are excessive, but on another level they may fear that the thoughts have are having might be true.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)—When people experience or witness a traumatic event such as abuse, a natural disaster, or extreme violence, it is normal to be distressed and to feel “on edge” for some time after this experience.
Some people who experience traumatic events have severe symptoms such as nightmares, flashbacks, being very easily startled or scared, or feeling numb/angry/irritable/distracted.
Sometimes these symptoms last for weeks or even months after the event and are so severe that they make it difficult for a person to work, have loving relationships, or “return to normal.” This is when a person may be suffering from PTSD. Many people with PTSD have difficulty discussing their symptoms because they may be too embarrassed or scared to recall their trauma. This is common in victims of sexual abuse and in combat veterans.
Phobias—A phobia is a disabling and irrational fear of something that really poses little or no actual danger for most people. This fear can be very disabling when it leads to avoidance of objects or situations that may cause extreme feelings of terror, dread and panic.
“Specific” phobias center on particular objects (e.g., caterpillars, dogs) or situations (e.g., being on a bridge, flying in an airplane). Many people are very sensitive to being criticized and are ashamed of their phobias which can lead to problems with self-esteem.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)—A severe, chronic, exaggerated worrying about everyday events is the most common symptom in people with GAD. This is a worrying that lasts for at least six months, makes it difficult to concentrate and to carry out routine activities, and happens for many hours each day in some people.
Some people with this disorder anticipate the worst and often experience physical symptoms of fatigue, tension, headaches and nausea due to the severity of their anxiety.
Social Anxiety Disorder—An intense fear of social situations that leads to difficulties with personal relationships and at the workplace or in school is most common in people with social anxiety disorder.
People with social anxiety disorder often have an irrational fear of being humiliated in public for “saying something stupid,” or “not knowing what to say.” People with this illness may have symptoms similar to “panic attacks” (e.g., heart palpitations, dizziness, shortness of breath) or may experience severe sweating (hyperhidrosis) when in social situations.
This leads to avoidance of social situations which can make it difficult to go to parties, school, or even family gatherings.
Other recognized anxiety disorders include: agoraphobia, acute stress disorder, anxiety disorder due to medical conditions, such as thyroid abnormalities, and substance-induced anxiety disorder, such as from too much caffeine.
Some people with other mental illnesses, such as depression or schizophrenia, may have symptoms of severe anxiety. These symptoms of worrying, panic attacks or compulsions may make treating their primary illness more complicated for mental health professionals. Therefore, complete treatment of depression or schizophrenia often requires treatment of anxiety symptoms.
People with anxiety disorders are more likely to use or abuse alcohol and other drugs including benzodiazepines (e.g., diazepam, alprazolam and clonazepam), opiates (e.g., pain-killers, heroin) or cigarettes. This is known as self-medication. Some people use drugs and alcohol to try and reduce their anxiety. This is very dangerous because even though some drugs make people feel less anxious when they are high, anxiety becomes even worse when the drugs wear off. Other people are anxious because they are intoxicated or withdrawing from drugs and alcohol.
Family and friends who have loved ones with anxiety disorders should attempt to be understanding of the symptoms that their loved one is trying to overcome. Family and friends should be careful not to blame themselves but rather to encourage their loved one to seek treatment for these complicated illnesses.
Bipolar—
Bipolar disorder is a chronic illness with recurring episodes of mania and depression that can last from one day to months. This mental illness causes unusual and dramatic shifts in mood, energy and the ability to think clearly. Cycles of high (manic) and low (depressive) moods may follow an irregular pattern that differs from the typical ups and downs experienced by most people. The symptoms of bipolar disorder can have a negative impact on a person’s life. Damaged relationships or a decline in job or school performance are potential effects, but positive outcomes are possible.
Two main features characterize people who live with bipolar disorder: intensity and oscillation (ups and downs). People living with bipolar disorder often experience two intense emotional states. These two states are known as mania and depression.
A manic state can be identified by feelings of extreme irritability and/or euphoria, along with several other symptoms during the same week such as agitation, surges of energy, reduced need for sleep, talkativeness, pleasure-seeking and increased risk taking behavior.
On the other side, when an individual experiences symptoms of depression they feel extremely sad, hopeless and loss of energy. Not everyone’s symptoms are the same and the severity of mania and depression can vary.
More than 10 million Americans have bipolar disorder. Because of its irregular patterns, bipolar disorder is often hard to diagnose. Although the illness can occur at any point in life, more than one-half of all cases begin between ages 15-25. Bipolar disorder affects men and women equally.
Bipolar disorder presents a special challenge because its manic, or hypomania, stages can be seductive. People with bipolar disorder may be afraid to seek treatment because they are afraid that they will feel flat, less capable or less creative. These fears must be weighed against the benefits of getting and staying well. A person may feel good while manic but may make choices that could seriously damage relationships, finances, health, home life or job prospects.
It is very common for people living with bipolar disorder to want to discontinue their medication because of side effects or because it has been a long time since the last episode of illness. However, it should be remembered that the progress one has attained is reliant upon continuing to take medication.
Schizoaffective—
Schizoaffective disorder is a serious mental illness that affects about one in 100 people. Schizoaffective disorder as a diagnostic entity has features that resemble both schizophrenia and also serious mood (affective) symptoms.
Many of the strategies used to treat both schizophrenia and affective conditions can be employed for this condition. These include antipsychotic and mood stabilizing medications, family involvement, psychosocial strategies, self-care peer support, psychotherapy and integrated care for co-occurring substance abuse (when appropriate).
A person who has schizoaffective disorder will experience delusions, hallucinations, other symptoms that are characteristic of schizophrenia and significant disturbances in their mood (e.g., affective symptoms).
According to the DSM-IV-TR, people who experience more than two weeks of psychotic symptoms in the absence of severe mood disturbances—and then have symptoms of either depression or bipolar disorder—may have schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is thought to be between the bipolar and schizophrenia diagnoses as it has features of both.
Depressive symptoms associated with schizoaffective disorder can include—but are not limited to—hopelessness, helplessness, guilt, worthlessness, disrupted appetite, disturbed sleep, inability to concentrate, and depressed mood (with or without suicidal thoughts).
Manic (bipolar) symptoms associated with schizoaffective disorder can include increased energy, decreased sleep (or decreased need for sleep), distractibility, fast (“pressured”) speech, and increased impulsive behaviors (e.g., sexual activities, drug and alcohol abuse, gambling or spending large amounts of money).
Families, friends, and others can be most helpful in providing empathic and non-judgmental support of their loved one. With this support, the proper medications, and effective psychosocial treatments, many people with schizoaffective disorder will do well and will be able to actively participate in a recovery journey.
Schizophrenia is a serious mental illness that affects 2.4 million American adults over the age of 18. Although it affects men and women with equal frequency, schizophrenia most often appears in men in their late teens or early twenties, while it appears in women in their late twenties or early thirties. Finding the causes for schizophrenia proves to be difficult as the cause and course of the illness is unique for each person.
Interfering with a person's ability to think clearly, manage emotions, make decisions and relate to others, schizophrenia impairs a person's ability to function to their potential when it is not treated. Unfortunately, no single, simple course of treatment exists. Research has linked schizophrenia to a multitude of possible causes, including aspects of brain chemistry and structure, as well as environmental causes.
Psychosis (psyche = mind, osis = illness) is defined as the experience of loss of contact with reality and usually involves hallucinations and delusions. Psychosis is a common symptom of schizophrenia. Learn more about psychosis, including first episodes, to gain more insight into this condition, including early intervention options.
Discovering the Truth about Schizophrenia
Because the illness may cause unusual, inappropriate and sometimes unpredictable and disorganized behavior, people who are not effectively treated are often shunned and the targets of social prejudice.
The apparent erratic behavior is often caused by the delusions and hallucinations that are symptoms of schizophrenia. Along with medication, psychosocial rehabilitation and other community-based support can help those with schizophrenia go on to lead meaningful and satisfying lives.
A lack of appropriate services devoted to individuals living with schizophrenia has left many improperly placed in jails and prisons without the help they need.
Schizophrenia is often mischaracterized as an untreatable disease associated with violent behavior and many untrue and unfortunate stereotypes have developed. Most individuals living with schizophrenia are not violent; risk of violence is associated primarily with factors such as psychotic symptoms or substance abuse.
Even then, violent behavior is generally uncommon and the overall contribution of schizophrenia to violence in a community is small. When engaging in treatment, schizophrenia is a manageable disease. The varying nature of each case though means that recovery for every individual is different.
Like any other illness, schizophrenia can often have a profoundly negative effect on a person's life, on their families and on their communities if not addressed. Suicide is a serious risk for those with schizophrenia, occurring at a much higher rate than the general population. However, the risk of suicide can be greatly reduced through the use of medication.
Eating Disorders—
Eating disorders are some of the most challenging mental illnesses. Untreated eating disorders can result in severe medical complications and even death in certain cases. As scientific studies suggest that nearly one-in-twenty people will experience symptoms of an eating disorder at some point in their lives, proper diagnosis and treatment of these complex conditions is of critical importance.
Eating disorders are often underdiagnosed which can delay necessary treatment. There is no specific test (e.g., x-ray or blood test) that can diagnosis an eating disorder. Rather, a diagnosis is made by a trained clinician based on the signs and symptoms of these illnesses.
While many people may experience unhealthy eating habits and have concerns with their body image, people with eating disorders generally experience severe dysfunction due to their symptoms.
In general, treatment of these challenging mental illnesses involves a multi-disciplinary team of clinicians to help an individual dealing with an eating disorder. This usually includes a primary care doctor (e.g., pediatrician or internist), a nutritionist, a therapist, and a psychiatrist.
Working together, members of the treatment team can help to meet the medical, nutritional and psychiatric needs of individuals with an eating disorder. In the vast majority of cases, psychopharmacological medications are not curative treatments for people with eating disorders. In certain cases, some people may find that medications are a helpful part of their treatment.
With thorough treatment and the support of their loved ones, many people with eating disorders can expect to see a significant decrease in their symptoms and can go on to live healthy lives in absence of serious medical complications. Family members and friends can be most helpful in providing nonjudgmental support of their loved one and by encouraging their loved one to seek treatment for these serious conditions.
ADD/ADHD—
Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a condition characterized by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity. The most commonly diagnosed behavior disorder in young people, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that ADHD affects an estimated 9 percent of children aged 3-17 and 2-4 percent of adults.
Although ADHD has its onset and is usually diagnosed in childhood, it is not a disorder limited to children—ADHD often persists into adolescence and adulthood and is frequently not diagnosed until later years.
For a more complete list and information about mental illness go to http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=By_Illness
Put Yourself in Their Shoes
Ok now that you have learned a little about mental health conditions; let’s put you in their shoes by examining a fact vs. fiction and a few other articles written by Sarah Hancock, a writer for the Nauvoo Times that will help you understand some of the stigma challenges faced every day by people with mental health illnesses.
Fact vs. Fiction
FICTION: People living with a mental illness are often violent.
FACT: Actually, the vast majority of people living with mental health conditions are no more violent than anyone else. People with mental illness are much more likely to be the victims of crime.
FICTION: Mental illness is a sign of weakness.
FACT: A mental illness is not caused by personal weakness — nor can it be cured by positive thinking or willpower — proper treatment is needed.
FICTION: Only military personnel who have been in combat can be diagnosed with PTSD.
FACT: While PTSD is prevalent in men and women who have seen combat, experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event can trigger PTSD, including violent personal assaults such as rape or robbery, natural or human-caused disasters, or accidents.
FICTION: People with a mental illness will never get better.
FACT: For some people, a mental illness may be a lifelong condition, like diabetes. But as with diabetes, proper treatment enables many people with a mental illness to lead fulfilling and productive lives.
FICTION: Children aren't diagnosed with mental illness.
FACT: Millions of children are affected by depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. As a matter of fact, 1 in 10 children live with a diagnosable mental illness. Getting treatment is essential.
FICTION: "Mental illness can't affect me!"
FACT: Mental illness can affect anyone. While some illnesses have a genetic risk, mental illness can affect people of all ages, races and income levels, whether or not there is a family history.
What, Really, is Mental Illness?
By Sarah Hancock – Nauvoo Times
When people are first diagnosed with a mental illness, everything around them shatters. Suddenly they picture themselves tied up in a straitjacket and locked away in some asylum. They think, “Is that who I really am?”
It feels as though every single goal they ever dreamed of achieving is ripped away, handing them a death sentence instead.
No, I take that back. Having a mental illness can be worse than a death sentence. Here's why.
When you think about mental illness, what are the first things that come to mind? Straitjackets, mumbling incessantly, heinous murderers -- the list goes on and on, none of it flattering. Why is that? Because the public at large only takes their information about mental illness from what they see on TV or in the movies.
Let's face it. Movies, news, television shows and any other media could never make money broadcasting stories about everyday people living boring lives. Instead the media turn their attention to things either positively amazing or downright horrific. Average doesn't sell.
Consequently, the general public gains all information about mental illness from either positively amazing people (like John Forbes Nash, Jr. a mathematician who received the Nobel for Economic Sciences in 1994, diagnosed with schizophrenia) or by heinous murderers diagnosed with mental illness. I'd give you an example but you can probably already think of several on your own.
If you believed the media, people who have a mental illness just don't fall in the gray area between amazing and horrific. In that respect they're like Mormons. You rarely hear about everyday Mormons on the news. But the minute a member of the Church does something bad, the news headlines read, "Mormon Steals Car!"
However, I bet that your preconceived notions about mental illness are just as erroneous as the average nonmember's understanding of what members of the Church truly believe. Did I just say that?
Many people think that schizophrenics are violent. However, evidence suggests that "people with psychotic symptoms account for only 5 percent of violent crime, and some estimate the number closer to 1 percent. In fact, people living with schizophrenia are in greater danger of being victimized by both violent and non-violent crimes than the general population." Surprised?
Mental illness is simply misunderstood, yet it's something that affects everyone in one way or another. If you think you don't know anyone with mental illness, you're wrong. I promise!
According to the National Alliant for the Mentally Ill (NAMI), "One in four adults -- approximately 57.7 million Americans -- experience a mental health disorder in a given year. One in 17 lives with a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, major depression or bipolar disorder and about one in 10 children live with a serious mental or emotional disorder."
The thing is, no one talks about it. Well, hopefully that is about to change.
I can be quite verbal about my experience with mental illness. I'll be the first to admit many people don't feel comfortable about my candidness, but I am candid for a reason. When I was diagnosed and drudging through the worst symptoms I'd ever experienced, I felt alone. What made matters worse was no one wanted to talk about it. People felt uncomfortable when I brought it up. I felt completely alienated.
I never want anyone else to feel like that. So, sometimes if there is a moment in class where I feel my experience with mental illness taught me something I share it, regardless.
One Sunday after sharing such an experience a sister came up to me after class in tears because she'd felt all alone and didn't know where to go to talk to about her depression. She was grateful I said something, enabling her to recognize she wasn't alone. She swore me to secrecy, not wanting anyone else to know about her struggle.
Ironically, a sister who'd sat next to this first sister also approached me afterwards, asking to talk to me more about her depression while swearing me to secrecy. She, too, didn't want anyone to think less of her for struggling with depression. Two sisters sitting next to each other were struggling with the desperate symptoms of depression, yet both were unable to support or console one another because of the embarrassment of being labeled as mentally ill.
Feeling isolated in a room full of people can be worse than a death sentence.
So what can you do about it? Be willing to talk. I'm not saying you have to shout it from the rooftops, nor am I saying that being glib about details is always appropriate. I am saying that in order for the general public to become savvier about mental illness, we need to start talking about it.
Helping people become more aware of mental illness will help their understanding to grow. Only then will the general public realize people with mental illness are just everyday people. After all, one fourth of the general public already knows that since they have a mental illness!
Perhaps it’s someone you are sitting next to at church or someone you share a cubicle with at work. Perhaps someone you love needs your support and you don't even know how to give it. If we all start talking about mental illness a little more, everyone will realize no one is alone.
Be wise in sharing things with others. You'll be surprised at how many people understand because they've been there too. So, back to the original question: What is mental illness? Start talking and asking questions from sources outside the sensationalized media, and you'll find the real answer
Identity and Mental Illness: Not, What I Am, but Who I Am
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by Sarah Hancock
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The other day I went to a service project as the passenger in my friend’s car. When we pulled into the parking lot, a baby blue, vintage Volkswagen bug pulled beside us and parked. My friend turned to me and said, “That’s my brother. He’s schizophrenic.” I stared at her for a moment, collecting my wits, and asked, “What’s his name?”
Gee. How many of us have done that? Some of you may ask, what? Done what? Introduced someone as their diagnosis. Come on now, we can all sheepishly admit we have. So this is my promise to you: I won't do it anymore.
I share this incident in an effort to plead with you to reevaluate how you interact with and think about people who have mental illness. For those who have mental illness, I share this as a plea to you to reevaluate how you think about yourself.
Would you ever introduce a friend to your “cancerous sister”? Would you introduce your coworker to the diabetic? Nope. Or at least, I hope not. Don’t you think it’s inappropriate to disclose someone’s medical history? So why do it with mental illness? Why the double standard? Yet people do it all the time. Suddenly gossip morphs into necessary knowledge. A little bit of the natural man coming to the surface? Okay. Maybe it’s just human nature to fill in the details, but what details are really necessary?
There are three primary reasons I think that you shouldn’t refer to someone as their diagnosis or even tell others about the diagnosis, especially when mental health is involved. First, it doesn’t allow a new person the opportunity to meet a person without the looming negative stigma associated with mental illness. Second, the more a person with mental illness is referred to by their illness, the more people treat them as ill. Third, when people are constantly referred to as their diagnosis, it leads them to believe all they are is the diagnosis.
When I was first diagnosed and struggling through the depths of my symptoms, I often sat down at meetings where people spontaneously stood up and moved. At first I honestly thought they had to make a last minute trip to the restroom. Perhaps many of them did.
But I will never forget the day when I sat down next to a young woman who got up and moved to the row behind me. When questioned by her new neighbor about the sudden spontaneous space shuffle, the young women loudly whispered, “I can’t sit next to her. Didn’t you know she’s schizophrenic and gets shock treatments?”
Tears filled my eyes. I sat there waiting for the meeting to start while staring at the teary, shimmering pattern on my skirt, all while wondering if that’s all they saw in me. As time passed, I wondered if that was all everyone saw in me.
There were many dark and dreary moments where that’s all I saw in myself. Lost was the girl who loved to write and sing at the top of her lungs to the car radio. Lost was the woman who’d been a college leadership trainer, camp counselor, editor and oral historian. Lost was the trilingual returned missionary.
Lost was the girl who loved expressing herself with ceramics, the one who frequently enjoyed laughing so hard her face and stomach hurt. Lost was the girl who planned the parties and group dates; Lost, the girl who excelled academically. Sometimes I wonder if I would have lost sight of all of those things had more people seen me for those qualities, rather than seen me as a scary mentally ill person.
You may think my perspective is skewed. Surely my illness affected how I perceived the reaction of others. Maybe it was all in my mind; A figment of my imagination; A result of the illness. I wish it were.
I’ve been to social activities where people I didn’t even know actually asked me what it was like to have shock treatments and to hear voices. Their tone made me feel like some sort of freak show.
Often I discussed it with a trusted friend, asking her if she’d heard it; Reality testing. She always did. There were times in my life where it got me down; now I’ve gotten used to it. When a person asks me such questions one-on-one, truly wanting to learn, it’s a decidedly different circumstance — one that I welcome.
I guess my question is: When you know someone has a mental illness, do you further perpetuate the negative stigma by referring to them as their illness? Or do you refer to them by their characteristics, qualities and talents? If the only thing you can see is the illness, you need to look deeper.
If you have been diagnosed with a mental illness and it’s all you can see or who you’ve become, take a step back and remember. Remember who you once were, what you liked to do, where you liked to go. Revisit a favorite thing about yourself.
Take a moment to enjoy an old talent you’ve shelved while struggling to take care of your symptoms. Get out of your head and enjoy something you hold dear. I know it may feel awkward at first since you haven’t done it in so long, but those lost qualities and talents are still a very important part of who you really are. You are you; you are not your diagnosis!
If you love, serve, or work with someone who has a diagnosis, take a moment to evaluate how you talk about him with others. Work to recognize every aspect of his personality.
Work to point out his strengths. Work to focus on the fact that she is child of a loving Heavenly Father who allowed her to have this illness not as a punishment but rather as witness of an abiding confidence God has in her. He knows all things, including her true, inner strength and potential. Remind your loved one of this truth.
One wise woman (not me!) diagnosed with a mental illness explained it quite simply by saying, “It is something that I live with, that I attempt to circumnavigate around, but it is not Who I Am.”
Please, stand with me and take the pledge. We will stand together and recognize people for who they truly are, sons and daughters of a living and loving God.
To Read about More Personal Experiences Go To:
How does the Lord feel about His children living with mental illness?
“How sorrowful must a brother or sister feel when they think they are abandoned, when they think no one cares!” – Elder Russell M Nelson
Understanding Mental Illness
http://www.lds.org/topics/disability/list/mental-illness
There are many kinds of mental illnesses that affect the way the brain functions. They can affect thoughts, behaviors, emotions, and the ability to understand information. Mental illnesses are different from everyday experiences of sadness, feeling upset, or daily problems. Mental illness makes normal living difficult.
Some mental illnesses are severe and disabling. They may be lifelong illnesses that can be improved but not cured. Some are less severe and are more easily treated or cured. Only a trained professional should make a diagnosis of mental illness. It is often difficult for others to tell the difference between human struggles or behavior problems and mental illnesses.
Mental illness is often poorly understood. This keeps many people from seeking help and receiving treatment. It may be difficult for people with mental illness to talk about it and get support and understanding from others.
The causes of these illnesses are complex. They are usually the result of problems in brain functioning, genetic vulnerability, trauma, chronic thinking patterns, or other emotionally difficult experiences. People with mental illnesses cannot just will themselves to get better. Blaming the person or others for the illness is harmful. When others respond with compassion, it can help the person feel more comfortable.
Most people with mental illnesses are neither violent nor dangerous. Recent advances in treatment have made it possible to manage or treat most mental illnesses. Most people are helped by treatment from a trained mental health professional. Other people can help by providing loving concern, support, and spiritual strength.
Ways to Help
- Learn about mental illness from professional sources, including LDS Family Services and mental health professionals. A bishop may give a referral to a licensed therapist through LDS Family Services.
- Treat the person with understanding and compassion. Reassure the person that Heavenly Father loves him or her.
- Remember that mental illness is not a punishment from God.
- Realize that a mental illness cannot be overcome by willpower alone. It does not indicate that a person lacks faith, character, or worthiness.
- Help the person develop confidence through knowing that God supports his or her efforts to cope and build strength.
- Do not take problems that are a result of the illness personally. People with mental illness may feel frustrated and upset because of the illness.
- Include the person in Church activities and appropriate service opportunities. Consult with the person, family members, and others who know the person well to identify limitations as well as strengths.
- Do not argue with delusional ideas or pursue topics that increase agitation. Be aware that stress can make the illness worse.
- Mental illness may require a person to make major life changes. Where appropriate, prayerfully consult with priesthood leaders, family members and caregivers, professionals, and the individual concerning a need for change.
- Some mental illnesses reduce energy and motivation. Recognize that it may be hard for individuals with mental illness to read and pray.
- If a person misinterprets scriptures and principles, he or she may feel distressed. Help the individual to focus on correct doctrine rather than becoming upset by limitations caused by the illness.
- Use uplifting music to reduce stress and be a soothing comfort.
- Focus on strengths. Design activities that are within individuals’ abilities so they can feel success. If their speech or behavior is inappropriate in class, give them assignments such as choosing the hymn, reading a poem, or other more structured tasks.
- If members are too ill to attend meetings and activities, include them by making home visits, taping lessons, or bringing them handouts.
- Let individuals participate in making decisions about what they can handle. For example, if a person has panic attacks when speaking in public, let him or her contribute in a way that is less frightening.
Easing the Burdens of Mental Illness
We can offer comfort to those with mental illness and their families by extending love and support without judging.
“We All Need Each Other”
“How sorrowful must a brother or sister feel when they think they are abandoned, when they think no one cares!
Perhaps it was this feeling that caused the psalmist to write, ‘I looked on my right hand, and beheld, but there was no man that would know me: refuge failed me; no man cared for my soul’ (Ps. 142:4).
“The church of our loving Lord cannot function that way! We all need each other.” Elder Russell M. Nelson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “‘Love Thy Neighbor,’” Ensign, Jan. 1987, 72.
“When my daughter first showed signs of mental illness, I kept denying that there was anything wrong,” says Cheryl, * a Latter-day Saint mother. “I wanted her to just get over the outbursts, the disorganized thinking, and the bizarre behaviors. Through the persistent encouragement of some very close friends, I finally sought help for my daughter and found some solutions.”
According to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, one in five families in the United States has a member who suffers from a serious mental illness. 1 These illnesses include, among others, major depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety disorders such as panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or phobias (see sidebar, p. 35).
Mental illness can result in much heartache and suffering, not only on the part of those afflicted but by their loved ones as well. Church members with these disorders, together with their families, are in particular need of the blessings of the gospel and tender support of their ward members.
The New Testament contains numerous examples of the Savior’s ministry among the sick and afflicted, including those suffering from what we now term as mental illness. 2 The Lord also extended His healing touch to those with other diseases accompanied by considerable stigma, such as leprosy. 3 In biblical times most lepers were shunned by their communities and forced to live in isolation. Today, many of the mentally ill are treated similarly: all too often they are ignored and stigmatized.
The Savior has commanded, “The works which ye have seen me do that shall ye also do.” 4 How can we follow His example in regard to those with mental illness and their families?
First, we can be a friend. Many people are frightened by mental illness and do not know what to say or how to respond to an individual with such a disorder. It may seem easy to turn away from those who are afflicted and their families, but this only increases their suffering and isolation. Taking time to listen, including them in our activities, being there for them in times of crisis, and treating them as we would want to be treated helps lift their burden and shows our love for them.
The parent of a daughter with schizophrenia said: “When I realized the true impact of my daughter’s illness on her life, I lost all hope. That was a very dark and helpless place. But as I allowed others to reach out to me, teach me, and offer me their strength, my hope was restored.”
Second, we can encourage those afflicted and their families to draw upon the power of the priesthood and personal revelation in dealing with their challenges. While all health problems will not be healed during mortality, individuals can often find hope, improvement in some areas, increased spiritual strength, and the assurance of Heavenly Father’s love through priesthood blessings and personal prayers. Through these channels individuals and family members may also be guided to people or organizations that can offer them needed assistance.
Heavenly Father stands by, ready to help. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “our heavenly Father is more liberal in His views, and boundless in His mercies and blessings, than we are ready to believe or receive. … He will be inquired of by His children. He says, ‘Ask and ye shall receive.’” 5
Third, we can help the mentally ill and their families understand the role of trials in our lives and the power of the Atonement to help us endure and grow through trials. We know that suffering can refine us and bring us to Christ. 6 And we know that through the Atonement the Savior took upon Himself not only the sins but also “the pains and the sicknesses of his people” so that He might “succor his people according to their infirmities.” 7 The Lord comprehends perfectly the anguish of those who have been affected by mental illness, and He can help them find peace (see John 14:27)—even the “peace of God, which passeth all understanding.” 8
Fourth, we can offer compassion and support without judgment. Sometimes good parents of mentally ill children are told by the unknowing that perhaps the child’s illness could have been avoided if they had practiced better parenting skills. Yet scientific evidence shows that there is a strong biological component in many of these disorders. For example, research performed by Brigham Young University professor Erin D. Bigler shows actual differences in the brains of those with various mental disorders. Dr. Bigler believes that “major psychiatric disorders have physiological underpinnings.” 9 These illnesses may develop in even the best of environments.
As we become better informed, we can help family members avoid the guilt that so often accompanies these challenges.
Fifth, we can refuse to support the discrimination and stigma often associated with mental illness. We can object to television programs, cartoons, advertisements, and movies that inappropriately portray those suffering from mental illness.
The media have contributed greatly to stigma against the mentally ill, giving wide press coverage to violent acts committed by a small percentage of people with serious disorders, and producing movies and television shows that sensationalize these acts. Consequently it could appear that all people with mental illness are violent—but this is far from the truth. According to the National Mental Health Association, “The vast majority of people with mental illnesses are not violent. In the cases when violence does occur, the incidence typically results from the same reasons as with the general public such as feeling threatened or excessive use of alcohol and/or drugs.” 10
Sixth, we can help people find the resources they need. LDS Family Services, which can be accessed through one’s bishop, offers support and professional counseling to individuals and families within the context of Latter-day Saint values and, if necessary, makes referrals to hospitals or other treatment centers. Community mental health centers help people find treatment in environments that are less restrictive than hospital settings. Local and national mental health organizations provide education and support and can be located on the Internet or in a local telephone book. Many books and articles also contain useful information and can be found in local libraries or on the Internet, but use discernment to select the best resources.
A seventh suggestion is to understand the emotions people may experience when confronting mental illness, and then to help them deal with their feelings. Experts say that when individuals become ill, they and their family members commonly experience shock and fear at first, then denial, followed by anger, guilt, and grief before they move into understanding. 11 A knowledge of these stages can provide a framework for discussing and empathizing with the feelings involved.
Eighth, we can understand that many forms of treatment can and do help. New medications have been developed in the past 10 years that treat a variety of symptoms, with fewer side effects than older medications. Behavior modification programs can help individuals suffering from depression, panic disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder change their thoughts and reactions and thus decrease the symptoms of their illness.
Ninth, we can recognize and help others understand that mental illnesses are not rare, that “mental illnesses are more common than cancer, diabetes, or heart disease.” 12 Based on statistics from a 1999 U.S. Surgeon General report, a group of 500 people ages 18–54 may include 7 individuals with schizophrenia, 8 with panic disorder, 12 with obsessive-compulsive disorder, 9 with bipolar disorder, 25 with agoraphobia (fear of open, public places), and 33 who will suffer from at least one episode of major depression. 13 If some of these figures seem high, remember that much mental illness is kept hidden because of the stigma against it, and many of the most seriously ill are homeless or clustered in hospitals, prisons, nursing homes, or low-income areas.
We know that everyone will one day be resurrected with perfect bodies, including brains that are free of structural or functional problems. Our challenge, then, is to help those with afflictions that are not healed during mortality. When we as Church members reach out to them with love, we help keep our covenant to “comfort those that stand in need of comfort.” 14 Our efforts to understand and support the mentally ill and their families can do much to help ease their burdens.
Myths about Mental Illness
Of the Seventy
Increasing our understanding of mental illness helps us reach out with love and compassion to those who are suffering.
In the Book of Mormon we read that the Nephites, who had been obedient to God’s laws, “lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Ne. 5:27). What a wonderful and insightful thought: if we are obedient and follow God’s commandments, we will be happy.
It is important to understand, however, that happiness does not imply the absence of adversity. Every individual experiences temptation, opposition, and trials that test faith and endurance: “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11).
Among the most painful trials an individual or family can face is that of mental illness. By mental illness I do not mean the temporary social and emotional concerns experienced as part of the normal wear and tear of living. Rather, I mean a disorder that causes mild to severe disturbances in thinking and behavior. If such disturbances are sufficiently severe and of sufficient duration, they may significantly impair a person’s ability to cope with life’s ordinary demands. These illnesses may even threaten life itself, as in severe depression, or be so debilitating that the sufferer is unable to function effectively.
Though medical science has made marvelous progress in the past century in solving some of the mysteries of the brain, the truth is that knowledge in this complex area is still in its infancy. We still do not know exactly how the brain works nor exactly how and why parts of it may malfunction. One thing is certain, however: no individual, family, or group is immune from the effects of mental illness. Furthermore, we are learning that many mental illnesses result from chemical disorders in the brain, just as diabetes results from a chemical disorder in the pancreas. Why, then, is there still such misunderstanding and fear surrounding mental illness?
Myths and Misconceptions
Myths and misconceptions about mental illness unfortunately are found among Latter-day Saints just as they are in the general public. These harmful attitudes include the following:
1. All mental illness is caused by sin. Make no mistake about it—sin, the deliberate breaking of God’s commandments, does indeed result in behavior that is hurtful to self and to others. And for every transgression there must be a consequence or punishment. The demands of justice are inexorable, unless the person concerned invokes the power of the mercy provided by Christ’s Atonement by repenting of the sin and recognizing Christ as his Savior.
The power of sin to harrow up the soul is vividly exemplified by the words of repentant Alma: “I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins. … I was tormented with the pains of hell. … The very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror. Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body” (Alma 36:12–15).
Those who, like Alma, experience sorrow during the repentance process are not mentally ill. If their sins are serious, they do require confession and counseling at the hands of their bishop. As part of his calling, each bishop receives special powers of discernment and wisdom. No mental health professional, regardless of his or her skill, can ever replace the role of a faithful bishop as he is guided by the Holy Ghost in assisting Church members to work through the pain, remorse, and depression associated with sin. That being said, however, it must be emphasized that in many instances aberrant thoughts, actions, and feelings result from mental illness and not from sin. They come from disease, not transgression. They are not God’s way of punishing the sinner. To assume they are is not only overly simplistic but also contrary to the teachings of the Church.
The truth is that many faithful Latter-day Saints who live the commandments and honor their covenants experience struggles with mental illness or are required to deal with the intense pain and suffering of morally righteous but mentally ill family members. Their burdens—and they are many—can be lifted only by love, understanding, and acceptance.
2. Someone is to blame for mental illness. It is a common human tendency to blame others or oneself for whatever goes wrong in life. Many victims of mental illness wear themselves out emotionally by futile attempts to remember something they, their parents, or someone else might have done that resulted in their suffering. Some blame their problem on demonic possession. While there is no doubt that such has occurred, let us take care not to give the devil credit for everything that goes awry in the world! Generally speaking, the mentally ill do not need exorcism; they require treatment from skilled health-care providers and love, care, and support from everyone else.
Most often, victims blame themselves. Many seem unable to rid themselves of terrible though undefined feelings that somehow, some way, they are the cause of their own pain—even when they are not. Parents, spouses, or other family members also often harrow up their minds trying futilely to determine where they went wrong. They pray over and over again for forgiveness when there is no evidence that they have anything of note to be forgiven of. Of course, in the vast majority of instances none of this works, for the simple reason that the victim’s thoughts and behavior result from disease processes which are not caused by the actions of others, including God.
Ascribing blame for mental illness causes unnecessary suffering for all concerned and takes time and energy which would better be used to increase understanding of what actually is happening—to get a complete assessment and proper diagnosis of the illness involved, to understand the causes, to get proper medication and learn behavioral and cognitive techniques that are part of the healing process. As victims, loved ones, and all the rest of us increase our understanding, then patience, forgiveness, and empathy will replace denial, anger, and rejection.
3. All that people with mental illness need is a priesthood blessing. I am a great advocate of priesthood blessings. I know, from much personal experience, that they do inestimable good. I know too that final and complete healing of mental illness or any other disease comes through faith in Jesus Christ. In any and all circumstances, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, our lives will improve and become richer and more peaceful as we turn to Him. “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,” He said. “… Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28–30). He and only He has the healing balm of Gilead needed by all of God’s children.
We must understand, however, without in any way denigrating the unique role of priesthood blessings, that ecclesiastical leaders are spiritual leaders and not mental health professionals. Most of them lack the professional skills and training to deal effectively with deep-seated mental illnesses and are well advised to seek competent professional assistance for those in their charge who are in need of it. Remember that God has given us wondrous knowledge and technology that can help us overcome grievous problems such as mental illness. Just as we would not hesitate to consult a physician about medical problems such as cancer, heart disease, or diabetes, so too we should not hesitate to obtain medical and other appropriate professional assistance in dealing with mental illness. When such assistance is sought, be careful to ensure, insofar as possible, that the health professional concerned follows practices and procedures which are compatible with gospel principles.
4. Mentally ill persons just lack willpower. There are some who mistakenly believe that the mentally ill just need to “snap out of it, show a little backbone, and get on with life.” Those who believe that way display a grievous lack of knowledge and compassion. The fact is that seriously mentally ill persons simply cannot, through an exercise of will, get out of the predicament they are in. They need help, encouragement, understanding, and love. Anyone who has ever witnessed the well-nigh unbearable pain of a severe panic attack knows full well that nobody would suffer that way if all that was needed was to show a little willpower. No one who has witnessed the almost indescribable sadness of a severely depressed person who perhaps can’t even get out of bed, who cries all day or retreats into hopeless apathy, or who tries to kill himself would ever think for a moment that mental illness is just a problem of willpower. We don’t say to persons with heart disease or cancer, “Just grow up and get over it.” Neither should we treat the mentally ill in such an uncompassionate and unhelpful way.
5. All mentally ill persons are dangerous and should be locked up. Sensational and incomplete media reports have conjured up stereotypical portrayals of the mentally ill as crazed and violent lunatics, dangerous to others as well as themselves. The truth is that the vast majority of people with mental illness are not violent, and the great majority of crimes of violence are not committed by persons who are mentally ill. 1
Furthermore, over the past 40 years, as effective medications for mental illness have become available and effective support programs have been developed, it has been shown that most mentally ill people—like those with physical illnesses—can live productive lives in their communities. They do not need to be locked up. Like everyone else, most mentally ill persons receiving proper treatment have the potential to work at any level in any profession, depending solely on their abilities, talents, experience, and motivation.
6. Mental illness doesn’t strike children and young people. As noted by the National Institute of Mental Health, the truth is that an estimated 10 percent of children in the United States suffer from a mental health disorder that disrupts their functioning at home, in school, or in the community. 2 The majority of children who kill themselves are profoundly depressed, and most parents did not recognize that depression until it was too late. I reiterate: no one is immune to mental illness.
7. Whatever the cause, mental illness is untreatable. As mentioned, during the past 40 years numerous medications have been developed by the multinational pharmaceutical industry. These products have proven of inestimable worth to millions. They are not perfect, nor do they work effectively in every instance—far from it, unfortunately. But we are getting closer to the day when physicians will have available effective drugs which are specific in correcting the biochemical lesions concerned, without the side effects which too often limit the effectiveness of medications today. I have no doubt that such developments, which we are already beginning to see, will result in striking advances in the treatment of mental illness over the next decade.
Let Us Help Those in Pain
I hope these few thoughts about some of the myths surrounding mental illness can help us build understanding and rid ourselves of stigma and bias about this important problem. With knowledge and understanding come love, acceptance, empathy, and enfoldment. May God bless us to love all His children, to abandon none, and to lift up and strengthen those suffering and in pain.
Matt 25:35-45
34 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
41 Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels:
43 I was a stranger, and ye took me not in: naked, and ye clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and ye visited me not.
44 Then shall they also answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto thee?
45 Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me.
Spiritual Leaders
If you have the blessing and honor of serving as one of our spiritual leaders, i.e. Bishopric, Relief Society Presidency, Youth Leader etc. please realize you are persons to whom it is very common for us to turn for support, both spiritually and secularly.
We don’t expect you to have to fix us or take the place of professional doctors. We just need good listeners and the virtues described in Doctrine and Covenants section 4 verses 5-6:
5 And faith, hope, charity and love, with an eye single to the glory of God, qualify him for the work.
6 Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.
In other words, please treat us like any other person, with love, kindness and patience as the Savior would.
What we want
We want what most everyone wants; to live a normal life- without stigma, persecution or labels.
We are not “crazy,” there is just a part of our body that does not function correctly at all times.
Imagine if you were in a car wreck and injured your arm. You received nerve damage and now suddenly your arm does not function correctly. No matter how hard you tried or wanted your arm to work correctly you just couldn’t make it function. Can you imagine the frustration of that?
You want it to be “normal” but it just won’t. You don’t want people to treat you differently because your arm doesn’t work correctly any more.
So you need to learn coping skills of how to get along without the full function of your arm. Maybe you even need to take medicine for pain control. You just want to be healthy and live a normal productive life.
You want people to accept you and treat you as a normal person, not label you or be afraid of you.
So it is with us. We just want to be healthy, have our brains function normally and live normal lives. But we too often have to take medicine and learn coping skills to live with the brain that does not always function the way we would like. Like you, we just want to live a normal life, have people accept and treat us as a normal person and not label us or be afraid of us.
My Perspective What I need from you– Understanding
Please, just be my friend. Treat us like you would any other person or friend.
I want to be able to talk about my condition with you, without fear or shame.
I would like to be able to talk about my condition as comfortably and commonly as one would speak of a hangnail or a broken toe without wondering what people are going to think of me.
I would like to be able to ask for help without people acting like I am so sort of threat to them, their children or any other part of their life.
I would like to be considered a valuable child of God worthy of the love and support I need when I am unwell and not be considered a burden or a bother.
I want to be healthy, be a contributing member of society and the Kingdom of God, live to my full potential, live, love, laugh.
Have friends who understand my condition and know all the good as well as the challenges and love me anyways.
I want to serve my Heavenly Father. I don’t want people to think I cannot handle certain callings just because I have a mental illness. I will let you know if there is something I cannot handle.
I want to feel included, loved, trusted and not feared.
I want what you want out of life; to be happy and experience joy.
How can you help?
Other Great Articles
Surviving Schizophrenia (an LDS perspective)
About Shauna Slater
Shauna Slater is married and has three boys who keep her very busy with school, sports and other family activities. She is a return missionary and holds Bachelor degrees in Communications and Spanish from Weber State University.
She has served in many leadership and teaching roles in both church and community. She is an avid hockey fan and played for a local women’s team for 13 years before retiring from a bad knee. She lives with brain chemistry deficiencies that give her symptoms classified under Anxiety, Panic and Depression disorders.
She strives to take care of herself so that she can take care of her family and friends and those around her. She is a happy person in pursuit of a normal life, free from symptoms as much as possible. She is an active advocate for people living with mental health issues.
She is currently serving in her ward’s Relief Society program.
About Sarah Hancock
Sarah Hancock is currently in her final year of studies at San Diego State University's Rehabilitation Counseling Program (just voted 9th in the Nation by U.S. News & World Report) with a psychiatric emphasis. A portion of her internship was spent as the Coordinator of Disability Services Office for Alliant International University's San Diego and Irvine Campuses.
Having embarked on her own journey with a mental health diagnosis, she is passionate about Psychiatric Recovery and teaching others how to strengthen their "Recovery Toolbox." Sarah finds comfort in writing, having completed more than 29 journal volumes. She teaches occasional recovery workshops using principles she learned from Recovery Innovations.
Born and raised in San Diego, California, Sarah served a Spanish speaking and ASL mission for the LDS Church in the Texas Dallas Mission. She was graduated from Ricks College and BYU. Sarah currently resides in the San Diego area with her husband. They have four teenage children.
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She currently loves serving as Young Women secretary and ward missionary.
Other Sources:
Bring Change to Mind www.BringChange2Mind.org - “Working to End the stigma and discrimination of mental illness.
