My thing is general anxiety and depression. The thing I would ask is are you
getting professional help?
It took me many years to be able to admit that I needed it, but I am so
greatful that I did. It is nothing to be ashamed of. If you had cancer or
diabetes would you not seek out help from the best doctors.
If you don't already, please realize that what you have is a physical
ailement, not a mental one, we are not "crazy."
Your body does not produce the right balance of ceritan chemicals that your
brain needs to fire correctly. It is nothing you have done wrong nor can
control with just will power. So please, do not beat yourself up because of it.
Seek professional, specialist help. There are many medications out there that
can help people like us. It took me 15 years of trying and overcoming feeling
self concious about having to get treatment, but I am finally at peace with
it.
There have been many "good LDS" memebers who do not understand. I think most
of them mean well, even in your case, but they just do not know how to help THE
RIGHT way because there so little education out there about how to support
poeple like us. You may have to learn yourself and then teach them. That is what
I have had to do.
I personally hate the term "mental illness" so I have made up a new name for
it that even my counselor likes, what we have is BCD - Brain Chemistry
Deficiency. It is just as much of a medical condition as diabetus and other
chemical type ailements that people get.
Right now my treatment is working great and I feel better than I have in
years. My BCD is in "remission" if I can borrow a term from cancer patients.
That's another problem we have is we do not have a lot of our "own language"
and terms like people who are "cancer survivors" or other types of things...
like having our "diabetus under control"...
We can say we have our BCD under control, or that it is in remission. We are
in treatment etc.
There is still a lot of negative stigma out there about it. It is hard for us
to promote change because the sickness is often a great barrier. So we need to
do it when we are healthy even though during those times we feel like we "don't
need it" at the time.
We just want "normal" lives.... what ever that means.... ;>)
Here are some short PSAs (public service announcemnets) that have really
helped me and helped others start to understand...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY27YfstRZA&list=PL431E22387E8C253C&index=1&feature=plpp_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxT1y2KoAvQ&list=PL431E22387E8C253C&index=2&feature=plpp_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSelazVmskA&list=PL431E22387E8C253C&index=3&feature=plpp_video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUaXFlANojQ&list=PL431E22387E8C253C&index=4&feature=plpp_video
Finally, I would encourage you to go to church for Jesus, not the people. The
people are not perfect, but the Savior is. Do not deprive yourself of these
great blessings because others do not understand.
Most people really are not "judging" us as it sometimes feels. And even if
they are... well, that's THEIR problem. Remember Jesus and our Father in Heaven
know us! They know our struggles, go for THEM!
Also, a note about meds.... as I have FINALLY learned.... there are meds that
help but can also cause difficult side effects.... know that there are also
OTHER meds you can be given to couter act the side effects. For example, my meds
give me very bad insomnia and restless legs. My doc also gave me a low dose of
an anti seiezure med to couter act those side effects and it works great. I
still have a little restless legs but it is manageable and sooooooooo worth how
good I feel now.
I have been on this treatment for about a year now and feel more "normal"
than I ever have in most of my adult life.
Please hang in there. Get the help you deserve and remember, you are loved
and you are NOT alone.... there are lots of us out here with you!
Shauna
